I wish he was my Boyfriend

Boyfriend. The word men fear and women swoon over. With a boyfriend you are never alone. Want to stay in on Saturday night but feeling kind of lame about it? No problem! Call your boyfriend. He will come over, watch a movie with you, and you can still call your night a success. Because you weren’t by yourself, you were with your boyfriend, and you probably had sex! Isn’t cuddling fun?

If you are one of those woman that have scored the oh holiest of holy grails at this University, congratulations. You, my friend, have found the chupacabra. A relationship in which a guy wants to stay is rare at this point in our young lives. The people I know in relationships at Tufts seem to be fairly happy and the women I know who are in perpetual search of them seem to be fairly unhappy – with their love lives, at least. Of course there are exceptions to every general statement.

I truly understand many males’ desire to be single. Really, I do. Who wants a crazy biznatch cramping your style and keeping you from spreading your seed? Not me. Run wild and free, I say. Bitches be crazy. But, not all bitches want a relationship. That is one assumption about the female sex that makes me cringe, especially when it ends perfectly nice hookups. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard a guy say, “Yeah, I liked her, but I didn’t want to keep hooking up and have her start getting the wrong idea.” The wrong idea about what? That you might want to see her while the sun is still up? PUH-LEASE, don’t put yourself out.

I feel as though just the threat of the “R” word keeps many people from actually being part of a couple. Because really, how are you supposed to discover someone’s charming attributes over a game of beer pong and the vertical joyride? And baby, that’s all you’ll be gettin’ if the object of your desire is hell bent on upholding that old cliché: in college everyone is single.

However, if you are one of those ladies (or gents) in perpetual search of the big B (or G), fear not, for not all hope is lost. One day you will graduate!!! Just kidding (I am never going to graduate)! My advice to you is this: stop looking. Truth be told, at this age you are probably not going to find what you seek. Relationships never seem to find those people that are dying to have one and I think the best thing you can do is learn how to make yourself happy by just being with yourself.

I am a great date and I love taking myself to the movies. Best part about being with me: I never have to worry about having food in my teeth and I don’t stress when I have to fart. Still though, it doesn’t do much to warm my bed, I’ll give you that.

There comes a time in college that every girl must decide for herself: to hookup or not to hookup? If you know that what you truly want is a relationship, I advise you to abstain. For you, a hookup can only lead to heartbreak. It’s not an easy decision to make, but once you know what you want, you should pursue it, even if it means being celibate. Once you make that commitment, I think getting rejected stings less. If a guy can’t give you what you want, why waste your precious time? Also, you avoid one of worst things about hookup culture: thinking you are interchangeable with someone else. It sucks to be just a warm body or just another pair of willing lips.

If you are someone who just needs a Mr. Right Now, then I advise you to make sure Mr. Right Now likes you for you and not just what you can do for him. Try getting to know each other a little, because then if it ends, maybe you will have made a friend (doubtful, but maybe). However, if the sex is really good, then hold onto that shit because that is rare at our age. Only hookup if you are also getting something out of it (other than just the promise that it might lead to more) and that will (hopefully) keep you from feeling used.

In the mean time, if you are feeling blue, ask yourself this: Do you really like your crush enough to have their hairy, sweaty ass in your bed day after day? Yeah, didn’t think so.

- DeeDee